Notes on Anger

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. James 1:19-20

But now you must get rid of all such things – anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive language from your mouth. Colossians 3:8

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21

But I (Jesus) say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. Matthew 5:22

"Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." (Fredrick Buechner in Wishful Thinking, p. 2)

"When we trace wrongdoing back to its roots in the human heart, we find that in the overwhelming number of cases it involves some form of anger. Close beside anger you will find its twin brother, contempt. Jesus’ understanding of them and their role in life becomes the basis of his strategy for establishing kingdom goodness. It is the elimination of anger and contempt that he presents as the first and fundamental step toward the rightness of the kingdom heart."
(Dallas Willard in Divine Conspiracy, p. 147)

"In its simplest form, anger is a spontaneous response that has a vital function in life. As such, it is not wrong. It is a feeling that seizes us in our body and immediately impels us toward interfering with, and possibly even harming, those who have thwarted our will and interfered with our life."
(Willard, p. 147)

"We can and usually do choose or will to be angry. Anger first arises spontaneously. But we can actively receive it and decide to indulge it, and we usually do. We may even become an angry person, and any incident can evoke from us a torrent of rage that is kept in constant readiness."
(Willard, p. 148)

"The answer to this question of why people embrace anger and cultivate t is one we must not miss if we are to understand the ways of the human heart. Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you find a person with a wounded ego.

The importance of self and the real or imaginary wound done to it is blown out of all proportion by those who indulge anger. Then anger can become anything from a low-burning resentment to a holy crusade to inflict harm on the one who has thwarted me or my wishes or bruised by sense of propriety. It may explode on anything and anyone within reach. I may become addicted to the adrenaline rush and never feel really alive except when my anger is pumping."
(Willard, p. 149)

"Anger embraced is, accordingly, inherently disintegrative of human personality and life. It does not have to be specifically “acted out” to poison the world. Because of what it is, and the way it seizes upon the body and its environment just by being there, it cannot be hidden. All our mental and emotional resources are marshaled to nurture and tend the anger, and our body throbs with it. Energy is dedicated to keeping the anger alive: we constantly remind ourselves of how wrongly we have been treated. And when it is allowed to govern our actions, of course, its evil is quickly multiplied in heart-rending consequences and in the replication of anger and rage in the hearts and bodies of everyone it touches."
(Willard, p. 149-150)

"But there is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it. . . To retain anger and to cultivate it is . . . “to give the devil a chance” (Ephesians 4:26-27). He will take the chance, and there will be hell to pay. The delicious morsel of self-righteousness that anger cultivated always contains comes at a high price in the self-righteous reaction of those we cherish anger toward. And the cycle is endless as long as anger has sway."
(Willard, p. 151)

What stands out to me is the fact that anger does not have to be acted upon to poison the world. I’ve learned that anger acted out almost NEVER is helpful or productive. It is almost NEVER done in love. It almost ALWAYS has to do with my own “wounded ego.” I’m learning how to step back for a moment when the feeling of anger begins to come – to try and check myself before speaking or acting – to try and see where this anger is coming from – and to try and recognize how any action done in anger will not be helpful to whomever I’m with. Instead of reacting, I try and reflect on what is going on inside of me, seek to calm down, and determine a course of action after reflection instead of just reacting.

But I’m also very much challenged by the idea that keeping anger inside is just as poisonous as letting it out. I can see the truth of this through past experiences. I hold a grudge. I act differently around a certain person. My tension rises. I see then how I carry with me this unhealth and it then affects my attitude, my relationships, and tends to fuel my self-righteousness. If I’m angry inside, I do what I can to justify my anger, to feed on it, and that always leads to look at myself through rose-colored glasses and becoming more prone to judgmentalness when looking at others.

I lose sleep. My mind is easily consumed with thoughts about the situation or person I’m angry at. It is amazing how we can ‘feast’ upon this anger and how it doesn’t quickly dissipate if we keep our will focused upon it.

“Be angry but do not sin.” I don’t know about you, but that is a very difficult road for me. I need God’s help in being angry about those things I should be angry about but then acting in love and compassion. I need God’s help in not being angry about things I should not be angry about. And when the anger does come in handling it after reflection and not simply reacting.

God is more powerful than my anger, and yours, too. And so often God has a lot to say and do in me, when I run into this battle with anger. I need to learn to listen and allow Him to grow me in the midst of these difficult emotions.