Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What's in it for me?

Sometimes being a Christian (and pastor especially) feels like being a salesperson. I often feel like I have this great product with great benefits and my whole existence is focused on getting you to ‘buy’ this product. What does a salesperson do? He or she tells you everything that is good about their product. And nowadays, the focus is on telling you how the product is going to make your life better. The overriding question that the salesperson is seeking to answer – even though you may not ask it out loud – is “What’s in it for me?”

The army’s motto during the time of the World Wars was “I need you.” That was enough to encourage people to sign up. The country needed them and so, for the greater good of the country, people said yes. Today the motto has changed. It addresses the question above. Today it’s “Be All That You Can Be.” It is not country centric but individual centric. The army will help you be all that you can be.

Sunday after Sunday, the pastor can feel called to lay out all the benefits of signing on to Jesus and following Him. You get this and that. You’re promised and guaranteed this and that. You get to go to heaven. You get to experience peace and joy and love. You won’t have to worry anymore. You get guidance and strength and comfort. You get to make a difference in the lives of others. You get blessed. It’s similar to the “Be All That You Can Be” promise of the army.

How would you answer this question: “Why are you a Christian?”

Is it primarily because of what’s in it for you?

Consider asking someone about to be married: “Why are you getting married?” If they responded with, “Well that’s easy. I’m getting married because of what’s in it for me. I get this person who loves me, serves me, says encouraging things about me. I’m not alone. I have someone to eat with, sleep with, talk with. I have someone who’ll do at least some of the housework, maybe bring in some income, and really make me feel ways that I want to feel.” What do you think about this response?

Or what if the question was: “Why are you having kids?” “Well, that’s easy. I’m having kids because of what’s in it for me. It will be fun. They’ll help me look good. I’ll have a chance to mold and shape them into who I think they should be. They’ll love me and take care of me when I get old. They’ll help with the household chores. I’m sure they’ll be entertaining at times. I want to be a Mom/Dad and I can’t be one unless I have a child.” What do you think about this response?

I hope the following responses make you uncomfortable. They are just not right because they are coming from a selfish perspective. They reflect the consumer driven and transaction nature of relationships that permeate our culture. “What’s in it for me” has become one of driving forces of our lives. We make decisions based on this. We base relationships on this. And in doing so, we show very clearly that what is most important is me - my happiness, how I feel, what’s best for me.

How does that perspective fit into the life that Jesus is calling you to live. Does he want people who are in it for the benefits? Do you want a husband or wife who is only in it for what you do for them? Do you want a mom or dad who is looking for you to build up their identity, to make them feel good?

The best example of the opposite of this perspective that I see on a daily basis is my wife, Alisa. I watch her day after day SHOW LOVE for John. Her love for John is what motivates and drives her to set aside her own wants/needs to serve him. There is no transactional nature involved. She is not doing it so he will do something for her. She serves, sacrifices, and gives because she loves him. There are definitely benefits to being in John’s life and being his mom, but she is not at all driven by what’s in it for her.

What’s in it for you with Jesus? Everything. Is that what ought to drive us to follow him – so we can get what he offers? No. What drives us in following Him is the love we found in Him which enables us to love Him (albeit imperfectly) but it is love that is the foundation of our commitment to Him.

By the way, the full story of what’s in it for you with Jesus is found throughout Scripture. It isn’t just heaven and joy. It is also suffering and sacrifice. It is courage and risk-taking. It is humility and dependence. It is ultimately dying to self. It is seeing the hard truth about who you really are and receiving the gift of Jesus and His grace in spite of yourself.

What's in it for me being a Dad? John & Anna
What's in it for me being married? Alisa

Sure there are incredible benefits to being a Dad and being married. But they pale in comparison to the gift of the relationship I have with these incredible people in my life.

Maybe it is not completely inappropriate to ask what's in it for me with Jesus. Because maybe there is a good answer to that question. It is not the benefits; it's Him. What's in it for you and me when we surrender ourselves to Jesus ultimately is the gift of Him - a relationship with our Lord, Redeemer, Savior, and King.