Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Incompletions

Full disclosure: This article is not about football, however I am going to use a football illustration. If you don’t like football, please keep reading. If you do like football, I hope you are willing to read an article that isn’t just about football.

An incompletion in football is when a quarterback attempts to throw a pass but that pass is not caught by a receiver on the quarterback’s team. So a quarterback may be 12/16 in passes for the game meaning that the quarterback threw 16 passes, 12 were completed, and 4 were incomplete.

The incompletion I want to talk about today has nothing to do with throwing a football. An incompletion is an integrity gap. An incompletion takes place when I don’t keep my word and even becomes worse when I don’t honor my word. An incompletion is a mess (small or big – still a mess) that a person makes because of a lack of integrity.

As we think about the plans God has for Community Reformed Church, we have to think about the incompletions in the life of Community Reformed Church. The incompletions at CRC are the sum total of all the integrity gaps that exist within the lives of those who are a part of CRC. It is nearly impossible for Community Reformed Church to live into God’s preferred future for us while ignoring the incompletions that exist within our church body. These incompletions often include places of unforgiveness, promises we have not kept, brokenness in relationships within the church body, things we’ve said about who we’ll be as a church but not lived out, etc.

God will not ignore our incompletions and neither can we if we desire to live into God’s preferred future. BECAUSE God’s preferred future involves growth in each of us, and so often the growth that needs to happen will happen as we seek to close our gaps in integrity. By seeking to honor our word by cleaning up the messes we’ve made, we put ourselves in places where we grow. Cleaning up a mess is some of the most difficult work we ever do. It means admitting fault, saying we’re sorry, and asking for forgiveness. But yet it also means, being forgiven, being set free from guilt, and no longer feeling separated from someone else in the church.

God’s preferred future for us is not simply about changing what we do, but instead it’s about changing/growing who we are.

Like any quarterback, none of us are perfect. We will all occasionally throw completions. We will all have gaps in our integrity. The goal is definitely perfection, but none of us will be perfect. The challenge comes in how we respond when our errant pass (integrity gap) affects another. Will we blame them? Will we act like nothing happened? Will we take responsibility for our mistake and grow through our willingness to live in restored relationships?

One direct result of working through our integrity gaps is that we grow in hope. Brokenness that has seemed insurmountable is seen to be surmountable. Feelings of separation begin to diminish and even disappear. Hope comes and grows.

Think about that truth as you consider God’s preferred future for Community Reformed Church. Do you have hope about what He has in store for you? Do you know it means growth in you? Will you do your part in addressing the incompletions in your life? Will you work to close the integrity gaps that you’ve created? You can be a means by which hope grows, not only in you, but in the people of CRC, and believe it or not, that hope will impact people far beyond our church body.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Church and Money

I hope seeing the word ‘church’ and ‘money’ in the title doesn’t keep you from reading this article. My guess is you already have reservations about reading it because of those two terms in the title.

We are currently budgeting for 2010. The consistory has reviewed a rough draft budget for 2010 and we briefly discussed it at our October consistory meeting. It was an interesting conversation and brought to the surface a couple things I want to address.

1. The church is not out to get your money. One of the most common perceptions of people on the street is that the church exists to get their money. Sadly, churches have at times promoted this perspective by begging, pleading and even guilting people into giving more. There is no desire on the part of the leadership to do this. We believe it contradicts Scripture and our understanding of why we give. It is not primarily for the church to function but instead to reflect our trust in God and our faithfulness to Him.

2. We seek to operate on a needs-based not wants-based budget. We really encourage those making requests for next year’s budget to do so based on their needs not wants. It is the church’s responsibility to make good stewardship decisions regarding the use of the resources given.

3. We wrestle with the balance between basing decisions simply on what happened last year and faith. Is the decision about budgets simply a common sense, logical decision that is easily made by seeing what our income and expenses were last year? How does God fit into the conversation? What part does faith and prayer and seeking after His direction play in this decision? Obviously, it is important we consider the facts and we then work out of our faith. But what does that mean in considering a budget for 2010?

4. Giving is an act of obedience to God not the church. Your giving is a spiritual issue between you and God. Giving reflects a trust in God to provide, a recognition of God being the source of our resources, and a commitment to offer our first fruits, not our table scraps, to Him.

5. We desire to give more away as a church. One of our vision statements says, “to love and serve those outside the church as much as those within.” We believe this means the stewardship of our time and money. We are not yet there, but we hope over time, CRC grows in being a church that can say with integrity that we are living into this vision. This means in a very simple way, that 50% of our budget ought to go to help those outside the church. We are currently between 15-20% of our budget going to those outside the church.

6. Giving more away will happen if we give more not as we cut more in the church budget. Because our budget is needs-based, we don’t have a lot of room to decrease. Yes, there is always some room, but that goes back to the issue of faith and not just math in making these decisions. But even if we focused on cutting, we could only increase our percentage of giving 10-15% on a very bare bones budget for the church. However, if giving is the means to give more away, there is no limit to how our giving can grow. The typical percentage of income a church-goer gives in the United States is 2.6%. During the Depression that number was 3.3%. We have a giving problem in the church in North America, and it’s so much more than a church budget issue, it is a spiritual issue.

7. Giving always includes money. Recognizing that times are very tight for many, giving is still always about money. You can give your time and you can rationalize that as your tithe, but that is not how God views giving. It always includes money. The baseline is 10%, but God desires that through our willingness to let go of our material possessions, we can better grab a hold of Him and see Him (and not ourselves and our bottom line) as the source of our security and hope in this world.

Many churches in this difficult economic time are forced to make difficult decisions about how they use the resources they do have. Numerous churches are choosing to cut their givings. They are sacrificing what they give away because they see it as the only way to keep their staff and their lights on. In no way am I making a judgment statement. It is just true. Churches are having difficult, even heart-wrenching conversations about what they can and can’t do.

2010 Budgets will be made available after the November consistory meeting. I hope you’ll look carefully at this document. I hope you’ll consider prayerfully what this says about who we are as a church. Pray for the leadership as they seek God’s direction regarding these decisions.

Giving does include a commitment to the church, but so much more than that it is a commitment to God. As you consider your own financial decisions, please seek after God’s direction. That has to mean seeking after His direction in Scripture. Please don’t simply give to the church because you perceive a need; give to Him and if you are not sure what this means, ask Him. Giving is an act of obedience not benevolence.

Monday, October 5, 2009

"Daddy, let's cuddle."

“Daddy, let’s cuddle.”

It was getting late. It was close to the time John (our 6 year old son) needed to start getting ready for bed. His routine is about a half an hour process before he actually is lying in bed with the lights off. And he is good at every stall tactic imaginable.

My son is good at making requests in the final moments before it is time for bed. “Can I have a snack?” “Can we play a short game?” “Can I watch AFV (America’s Funniest Videos)?” He is a little man who always has hope that he’ll get to do ONE MORE THING before he’s off to bed.

I had just sat down with my feet up on the bed. I had my laptop in my lap and I was excited to check the scores and highlights of all the sporting activities (especially Twins) that had been taking place that day.

“Daddy, let’s cuddle.”

“Not right now, John.”

“Awwwwwwwwww,” groans my son.

And then the voice of my conscience spoke audibly. (Her name is Alisa by the way and she is my wife.) I hear her say from a distant room, “You’re not going to snuggle with your son? It won’t be long and he won’t want to do this anymore.”

I don’t always like what my conscience has to say, but she was right – again. So I hopped in bed with John. He just sat right next to me and was playing with one of his toys. No talking, just touching – being together.

Cuddling and 40 year old men who are into sports is an interesting connection. But John needs it, and I believe his Dad does too. There is something good about being together, being silent, and being close. It is interesting because what is communicated is powerful and it has no need of words. What is said is, “I love you. I love being with you. I need to be with you.”

One of the other things I’ve noticed about cuddling (being the expert I am) is that it is often in these times that the words that are spoken are the most meaningful. It is when John and I are close that he asks some of the deeper questions. “Is God here, Daddy?” “Why are some kids mean to me?” “Why do you have to go to work so much, Daddy?”

The depth of communication changes – for the good – both in being present and silent – but also in the meaningful conversations that sometimes result.

John, once again, has found a way to help me to grow. John, once again, has taught me some things about life and relationships because he is much more willing to express his needs.

Here is a critical one for me: I have to disconnect. I am amazed by the draw of connection which now affects me. Whether it is the TV or internet, I am discouraged by how much I desire to be connected. In fact, I would say it another way. I am distracted. I like being distracted. I like having my attention drawn to these things, but I am distracted from much better things.

The other part that stands out is my need to be with my Father.

Ecclesiastes says it this way,

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God; to draw near to listen is better than the sacrifice offered by fools; for they do not know how to keep from doing evil. Never be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven, and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few. (5:1-2)

It is not a question of whether we should draw near to God; it is a question of how. We need to come, but we need to come as one of the created before the Creator, as a finite human being before an infinite God, as a child before his or her Father. We need to come and honor, respect, and LISTEN to Him. So it will always mean we come and be silent. Silence has to be a part of coming into the presence of God. We need to hear what he has to say far more than we need to speak. He has the words of life, encouragement, direction, hope. We don’t.

And like John, we just need to be in the presence of our Dad. We may have trouble using the word “cuddle” but we need to be next to Him. We need to remember He’s there and with us. And we need to hear him say, “I love you. I love being with you. You need to be with me.”

If silence has no place in your life, that needs to change. If your relationship with God consists of talking at him, that needs to change. Please don’t hear this challenge as an attempt to guilt you into acting, but instead here this challenge as an invitation from Him. He is inviting you to spend time with him, to be still and know He is God, and to bring you to the place where you will be filled.

It’s time to disconnect. It’s time to stop being distracted. It is time to make Him the focus of your attention.