I’m in the midst of a very helpful and challenging book about how we grow in our faith. It’s called The Leader’s Journey by Jim Herrington, R. Robert Creech, and Trisha Taylor. Here are a few quotes from the book:
Beliefs about personal transformation
1. Personal transformation happens best as an inside-out process of committing to obey Christ.
2. Personal transformation happens best in the context of a loving community that extends grace and truth.
3. Personal transformation happens best when we develop a reflective lifestyle.
Personal transformation happens best as an inside-out process. This assertion may seem obvious, but we often seek to change our lives by focusing only on the external things demanding change; we blame other people when things do not go well. This reaction is hard-wired into the human species. When confronted with their sin in the garden, Adam and Eve both sought to deflect responsibility (Genesis 3:8-13).
But we’re talking about more than just taking personal responsibility. Individuals often take personal responsibility but redouble their efforts at what they are already doing. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. If what we are doing is producing our current results, then working harder at the same thing is going to produce more of the same undesired results! (6-7)
Personal transformation happens best in the context of a loving community that extends grace and truth. . . When Jesus encountered Thomas’s doubt following his resurrection, he did not lash out in anger: He responded with grace (John 20:27). Judgment, criticism, guilt, or shame can produce short-term change, but meaningful, long-term, inside-out change is nurtured by grace. Creating an environment where an individual experiences acceptance in spite of failure allows personal transformation to take root. (8-9)
Personal transformation happens best in the context of a reflective lifestyle. The classic disciplines of the Christian faith – worship, solitude, fasting, prayer, silence, and study – are essential to the formation of Jesus’ character in our lives. We join a growing number of voices (Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline; Douglas Rumford, SoulShaping; Dallas Willard, Hearing God and The Spirit of the Disciplines; and others) acknowledging that our mechanistic worldview has resulted in the compartmentalization of these disciplines. Marginalizing these practices robs them of the power in our lives.
Rather than living a reflective life characterized by the classic spiritual disciplines, far too often we live a frantically busy life that occasionally has daily quiet time. As we try to get some control over all the things that pull at us, God is assigned to the “spiritual” or “Sunday” part of our lives, rather than permeating all that we do. Consider: Do you have a prayer life, or a life of prayer? Occasions of fasting, or a lifestyle of fasting? Do you relegate Jesus to a quiet-time encounter early in the morning, or engage in a reflective lifestyle that seeks to know Jesus’ presence in every moment of the day? (11)
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Facebook Phenomena
A common conversation I’ve been hearing as of late:
Person A: “Are you on Facebook yet?”
Person B: “Um, no.”
Person A: “You’re not – OH MY GOSH – you have to get on Facebook – it’s so awesome.”
Person B: “What is it?”
Can you answer that last question? My guess is there are a few different perspectives on the Facebook phenomenon.
First, there’s complete ignorance. I’m not saying that in a bad way - ignorance just meaning no knowledge about Facebook. ‘Never heard of it. No idea what it is.’
Second, there’s the “doubters from a distance”. They’ve heard about Facebook, but they are not buying it. ‘Is it a cult? It can’t be near as good as all the hype, plus I spend enough time on the internet, why would I want to add another sight to visit?’ This group tends to emphasize a desire for “real” relationships not those found in cyber space. They don’t like email either because it’s not “real” communication.
Third, there’s the “intrigued but either lazy or technologically challenged”. These are the folks who still haven’t developed their pictures from last year’s vacation. (I know, “developing” pictures is so 1990’s.) OR they are so intimidated by having to “set up their own page,” it debilitates them. ‘How do I set up a page? Do I have to know algorithms?’ They are also the folks who still think the best computer games ever were Castlevania and the Oregon Trail.
Fourth, you have the “I’m on but only for practical reasons.” ‘Mom wants to see pictures of her grandkids and lives in Arizona, so I post pictures so family can see the kids grow up.’ ‘I’m tired of my friends bugging me about it, so I’m on . . . for their sake.’ I’ve noticed that some in this category are prone to shift quickly to “Facebook addicts”(see below) once they get on, while others are not. This group tends to have 23 friends and checks their Facebook page twice a month.
Fifth, you have the “Wow, it’s fun to see what my old high school and college friends are doing without having to talk with them”. This group looks at all the pictures and pages of their former friends. There is little if any desire to get back in touch, but it is fun to see what people are up to. This group tends to be ‘on’ Facebook a lot in the beginning, but their ‘on’ time quickly wanes because the new information/pictures run out.
Sixth, you have “Facebook addicts”. Conversations with a spouse now primarily take place on Facebook. They check their page 5x a day and scan the Home page at least 10x a day. Now I need to divide this group into two categories.
A. The voyeurs. These are the folks who are always on, but never write anything. They only speak when spoken to and you’ll never see them volunteer information.
B. The “I want to be a fish in a fishbowl” group. They share everything that is taking place in their life on Facebook including their breakfast, clothing decisions, and list of errands recently completed or yet to be completed. You now know more about their life than you want to. You have no choice; it’s on your Home page.
Finally (I’m sure there are many more I could describe but for the sake of space and time), there are those “diametrically opposed” to Facebook. They see it as a sign of the end times. Anything that a lot of people do and are excited about must be bad.
What’s my point you may wonder? I’m not here to promote or bash Facebook. Facebook is a social networking site on the internet that has become very popular. On Facebook, you can post pictures, let people know information about yourself, and stay in contact with people on Facebook who you have deemed worthy to be your ‘friend.’ No one can see your page unless you let them.
I’ve found it to be a great way to share pictures of John with family and friends. I’ve also found it to be a way to get back in touch with people from my past. I haven’t re-started all sorts of relationships with past friends, but I have said ‘Hi’ and had a chance to find out what they are doing now (job, marriage, kids, etc.).
I sure hope a computer screen never takes the place of face-to-face relationships, but it is true that staying in touch is better than not staying in touch. And like anything in our lives, moderation is important.
Person A: “Are you on Facebook yet?”
Person B: “Um, no.”
Person A: “You’re not – OH MY GOSH – you have to get on Facebook – it’s so awesome.”
Person B: “What is it?”
Can you answer that last question? My guess is there are a few different perspectives on the Facebook phenomenon.
First, there’s complete ignorance. I’m not saying that in a bad way - ignorance just meaning no knowledge about Facebook. ‘Never heard of it. No idea what it is.’
Second, there’s the “doubters from a distance”. They’ve heard about Facebook, but they are not buying it. ‘Is it a cult? It can’t be near as good as all the hype, plus I spend enough time on the internet, why would I want to add another sight to visit?’ This group tends to emphasize a desire for “real” relationships not those found in cyber space. They don’t like email either because it’s not “real” communication.
Third, there’s the “intrigued but either lazy or technologically challenged”. These are the folks who still haven’t developed their pictures from last year’s vacation. (I know, “developing” pictures is so 1990’s.) OR they are so intimidated by having to “set up their own page,” it debilitates them. ‘How do I set up a page? Do I have to know algorithms?’ They are also the folks who still think the best computer games ever were Castlevania and the Oregon Trail.
Fourth, you have the “I’m on but only for practical reasons.” ‘Mom wants to see pictures of her grandkids and lives in Arizona, so I post pictures so family can see the kids grow up.’ ‘I’m tired of my friends bugging me about it, so I’m on . . . for their sake.’ I’ve noticed that some in this category are prone to shift quickly to “Facebook addicts”(see below) once they get on, while others are not. This group tends to have 23 friends and checks their Facebook page twice a month.
Fifth, you have the “Wow, it’s fun to see what my old high school and college friends are doing without having to talk with them”. This group looks at all the pictures and pages of their former friends. There is little if any desire to get back in touch, but it is fun to see what people are up to. This group tends to be ‘on’ Facebook a lot in the beginning, but their ‘on’ time quickly wanes because the new information/pictures run out.
Sixth, you have “Facebook addicts”. Conversations with a spouse now primarily take place on Facebook. They check their page 5x a day and scan the Home page at least 10x a day. Now I need to divide this group into two categories.
A. The voyeurs. These are the folks who are always on, but never write anything. They only speak when spoken to and you’ll never see them volunteer information.
B. The “I want to be a fish in a fishbowl” group. They share everything that is taking place in their life on Facebook including their breakfast, clothing decisions, and list of errands recently completed or yet to be completed. You now know more about their life than you want to. You have no choice; it’s on your Home page.
Finally (I’m sure there are many more I could describe but for the sake of space and time), there are those “diametrically opposed” to Facebook. They see it as a sign of the end times. Anything that a lot of people do and are excited about must be bad.
What’s my point you may wonder? I’m not here to promote or bash Facebook. Facebook is a social networking site on the internet that has become very popular. On Facebook, you can post pictures, let people know information about yourself, and stay in contact with people on Facebook who you have deemed worthy to be your ‘friend.’ No one can see your page unless you let them.
I’ve found it to be a great way to share pictures of John with family and friends. I’ve also found it to be a way to get back in touch with people from my past. I haven’t re-started all sorts of relationships with past friends, but I have said ‘Hi’ and had a chance to find out what they are doing now (job, marriage, kids, etc.).
I sure hope a computer screen never takes the place of face-to-face relationships, but it is true that staying in touch is better than not staying in touch. And like anything in our lives, moderation is important.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
All-time favorite FUNNY video clips
Yep, I have to share these. Every one of them has made me laugh out loud.
Let's start with "I love Jesus but I drink a little." Enjoy.
OK, if you're into basketball like me, especially pick-up basketball, you'll enjoy "The 11 guys you'll always find playing pickup basketball."
If you're a husband, you could learn a great deal from this video on what to NOT buy for your wife as a gift. Otherwise, you'll end up in the "Doghouse".
And if you do any counseling at all or have ever been in counseling or know someone who has, you'll enjoy "Stop It".
If you haven't seen the Christian vs. Christ-follower videos, here is one to get you started. There are a whole bunch. They are a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials.
What about prayer? We could all use a "Prayer Answerer".
Last but not least, check out "Men in Coats". It starts a little slow, but it is worth watching for the final skit.
Let's start with "I love Jesus but I drink a little." Enjoy.
OK, if you're into basketball like me, especially pick-up basketball, you'll enjoy "The 11 guys you'll always find playing pickup basketball."
If you're a husband, you could learn a great deal from this video on what to NOT buy for your wife as a gift. Otherwise, you'll end up in the "Doghouse".
And if you do any counseling at all or have ever been in counseling or know someone who has, you'll enjoy "Stop It".
If you haven't seen the Christian vs. Christ-follower videos, here is one to get you started. There are a whole bunch. They are a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials.
What about prayer? We could all use a "Prayer Answerer".
Last but not least, check out "Men in Coats". It starts a little slow, but it is worth watching for the final skit.
Notes on Fasting
“And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Matthew 5:16-18
Then the disciples of John came to him (Jesus), saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?” And Jesus said to them, “The wedding guests cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.
Matthew 9:14-15
“The expression used in Leviticus for fasting is literally “deny yourselves” (NIV) or “humble your souls” (NASB).
(Michael Wilkins, Matthew, NIV Application Commentary Series, p. 281)
“The transformation that God has begun in the inner life is reflected in our acts of righteousness. Jesus emphasizes three practices that illustrate this principle. The transformation that occurs in the heart of a disciple causes him to love with God’s love, which will be expressed in giving to the needy (6:2-4). The intimacy of the relationship with God that has occurred in the inner person of the disciple will be expressed in an intimate form of personalized prayer between her and the Father (6:5-15). The inner life of the disciple who has experienced true humility and mourning over one’s own sin and the sorry sinful state of the world apart from God will urge her or him to undertake the discipline of fasting in order to examine one’s personal life and to focus on prayer for the world’s repentance (6:16-18).”
(Wilkins, p. 285)
“How easy it is to take something like fasting and try to use it to get God to do what we want. At times there is such stress upon the blessings and benefits of fasting that we would be tempted to believe that with a little fast we could have the world, including God, eating out of our hand.
Fasting must forever center on God. It must be God-initiated and God-ordained.”
(Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline, p. 48)
“If our fasting is not unto God, we have failed. Physical benefits, success in prayer, enduing with power, spiritual insights – these must never replace God as the center of our fasting.”
(Foster, p. 48)
More than any other single Discipline, fasting reveals the things that control us. This is a wonderful benefit to the true disciple who longs to be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. We cover up what is inside us with food and other good things, but in fasting these things surface. If pride controls us, it will be revealed almost immediately. David said, “I humbled my soul with fasting” (Ps. 69:10). Anger, bitterness, jealousy, strife, fear – if they are within us, they will surface during fasting. At first we will rationalize that our anger is due to our hunger; then we know that we are angry because the spirit of anger is within us. We can rejoice in this knowledge because we know that healing is available through the power of Christ.”
(Foster, p. 48)
“Fasting confirms our utter dependence upon God by finding in him a source of sustenance beyond food. Through it, we learn by experience that God’s Word to us is a life substance, that it is not food (“bread”) alone that gives life, but also the words that proceed from the mouth of God (Matt. 4:4). We learn that we too have meat to eat that the world does not know about (John 4:32, 34).”
(Dallas Willard in The Spirit of the Disciplines, p. 166)
“ . . . fasting is one of the more important ways of practicing that self-denial required of everyone who would follow Christ (Matt. 16:24). In fasting, we learn how to suffer happily as we feast on God. And it is a good lesson, because in our lives we will suffer, no matter what else happens to us.”
(Willard, p. 167)
“. . . let a man rejoice inwardly in the very fact that by this his fasting he is turning away from the pleasures of the world to make himself subject to Christ . . .”
(Augustine of Hippo in Spiritual Classics by Richard Foster, p. 69)
Matthew 5:16-18
Then the disciples of John came to him (Jesus), saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?” And Jesus said to them, “The wedding guests cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.
Matthew 9:14-15
“The expression used in Leviticus for fasting is literally “deny yourselves” (NIV) or “humble your souls” (NASB).
(Michael Wilkins, Matthew, NIV Application Commentary Series, p. 281)
“The transformation that God has begun in the inner life is reflected in our acts of righteousness. Jesus emphasizes three practices that illustrate this principle. The transformation that occurs in the heart of a disciple causes him to love with God’s love, which will be expressed in giving to the needy (6:2-4). The intimacy of the relationship with God that has occurred in the inner person of the disciple will be expressed in an intimate form of personalized prayer between her and the Father (6:5-15). The inner life of the disciple who has experienced true humility and mourning over one’s own sin and the sorry sinful state of the world apart from God will urge her or him to undertake the discipline of fasting in order to examine one’s personal life and to focus on prayer for the world’s repentance (6:16-18).”
(Wilkins, p. 285)
“How easy it is to take something like fasting and try to use it to get God to do what we want. At times there is such stress upon the blessings and benefits of fasting that we would be tempted to believe that with a little fast we could have the world, including God, eating out of our hand.
Fasting must forever center on God. It must be God-initiated and God-ordained.”
(Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline, p. 48)
“If our fasting is not unto God, we have failed. Physical benefits, success in prayer, enduing with power, spiritual insights – these must never replace God as the center of our fasting.”
(Foster, p. 48)
More than any other single Discipline, fasting reveals the things that control us. This is a wonderful benefit to the true disciple who longs to be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. We cover up what is inside us with food and other good things, but in fasting these things surface. If pride controls us, it will be revealed almost immediately. David said, “I humbled my soul with fasting” (Ps. 69:10). Anger, bitterness, jealousy, strife, fear – if they are within us, they will surface during fasting. At first we will rationalize that our anger is due to our hunger; then we know that we are angry because the spirit of anger is within us. We can rejoice in this knowledge because we know that healing is available through the power of Christ.”
(Foster, p. 48)
“Fasting confirms our utter dependence upon God by finding in him a source of sustenance beyond food. Through it, we learn by experience that God’s Word to us is a life substance, that it is not food (“bread”) alone that gives life, but also the words that proceed from the mouth of God (Matt. 4:4). We learn that we too have meat to eat that the world does not know about (John 4:32, 34).”
(Dallas Willard in The Spirit of the Disciplines, p. 166)
“ . . . fasting is one of the more important ways of practicing that self-denial required of everyone who would follow Christ (Matt. 16:24). In fasting, we learn how to suffer happily as we feast on God. And it is a good lesson, because in our lives we will suffer, no matter what else happens to us.”
(Willard, p. 167)
“. . . let a man rejoice inwardly in the very fact that by this his fasting he is turning away from the pleasures of the world to make himself subject to Christ . . .”
(Augustine of Hippo in Spiritual Classics by Richard Foster, p. 69)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Notes on Anger
You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. James 1:19-20
But now you must get rid of all such things – anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive language from your mouth. Colossians 3:8
Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
But I (Jesus) say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. Matthew 5:22
"Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." (Fredrick Buechner in Wishful Thinking, p. 2)
"When we trace wrongdoing back to its roots in the human heart, we find that in the overwhelming number of cases it involves some form of anger. Close beside anger you will find its twin brother, contempt. Jesus’ understanding of them and their role in life becomes the basis of his strategy for establishing kingdom goodness. It is the elimination of anger and contempt that he presents as the first and fundamental step toward the rightness of the kingdom heart."
(Dallas Willard in Divine Conspiracy, p. 147)
"In its simplest form, anger is a spontaneous response that has a vital function in life. As such, it is not wrong. It is a feeling that seizes us in our body and immediately impels us toward interfering with, and possibly even harming, those who have thwarted our will and interfered with our life."
(Willard, p. 147)
"We can and usually do choose or will to be angry. Anger first arises spontaneously. But we can actively receive it and decide to indulge it, and we usually do. We may even become an angry person, and any incident can evoke from us a torrent of rage that is kept in constant readiness."
(Willard, p. 148)
"The answer to this question of why people embrace anger and cultivate t is one we must not miss if we are to understand the ways of the human heart. Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you find a person with a wounded ego.
The importance of self and the real or imaginary wound done to it is blown out of all proportion by those who indulge anger. Then anger can become anything from a low-burning resentment to a holy crusade to inflict harm on the one who has thwarted me or my wishes or bruised by sense of propriety. It may explode on anything and anyone within reach. I may become addicted to the adrenaline rush and never feel really alive except when my anger is pumping."
(Willard, p. 149)
"Anger embraced is, accordingly, inherently disintegrative of human personality and life. It does not have to be specifically “acted out” to poison the world. Because of what it is, and the way it seizes upon the body and its environment just by being there, it cannot be hidden. All our mental and emotional resources are marshaled to nurture and tend the anger, and our body throbs with it. Energy is dedicated to keeping the anger alive: we constantly remind ourselves of how wrongly we have been treated. And when it is allowed to govern our actions, of course, its evil is quickly multiplied in heart-rending consequences and in the replication of anger and rage in the hearts and bodies of everyone it touches."
(Willard, p. 149-150)
"But there is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it. . . To retain anger and to cultivate it is . . . “to give the devil a chance” (Ephesians 4:26-27). He will take the chance, and there will be hell to pay. The delicious morsel of self-righteousness that anger cultivated always contains comes at a high price in the self-righteous reaction of those we cherish anger toward. And the cycle is endless as long as anger has sway."
(Willard, p. 151)
What stands out to me is the fact that anger does not have to be acted upon to poison the world. I’ve learned that anger acted out almost NEVER is helpful or productive. It is almost NEVER done in love. It almost ALWAYS has to do with my own “wounded ego.” I’m learning how to step back for a moment when the feeling of anger begins to come – to try and check myself before speaking or acting – to try and see where this anger is coming from – and to try and recognize how any action done in anger will not be helpful to whomever I’m with. Instead of reacting, I try and reflect on what is going on inside of me, seek to calm down, and determine a course of action after reflection instead of just reacting.
But I’m also very much challenged by the idea that keeping anger inside is just as poisonous as letting it out. I can see the truth of this through past experiences. I hold a grudge. I act differently around a certain person. My tension rises. I see then how I carry with me this unhealth and it then affects my attitude, my relationships, and tends to fuel my self-righteousness. If I’m angry inside, I do what I can to justify my anger, to feed on it, and that always leads to look at myself through rose-colored glasses and becoming more prone to judgmentalness when looking at others.
I lose sleep. My mind is easily consumed with thoughts about the situation or person I’m angry at. It is amazing how we can ‘feast’ upon this anger and how it doesn’t quickly dissipate if we keep our will focused upon it.
“Be angry but do not sin.” I don’t know about you, but that is a very difficult road for me. I need God’s help in being angry about those things I should be angry about but then acting in love and compassion. I need God’s help in not being angry about things I should not be angry about. And when the anger does come in handling it after reflection and not simply reacting.
God is more powerful than my anger, and yours, too. And so often God has a lot to say and do in me, when I run into this battle with anger. I need to learn to listen and allow Him to grow me in the midst of these difficult emotions.
But now you must get rid of all such things – anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive language from your mouth. Colossians 3:8
Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
But I (Jesus) say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. Matthew 5:22
"Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." (Fredrick Buechner in Wishful Thinking, p. 2)
"When we trace wrongdoing back to its roots in the human heart, we find that in the overwhelming number of cases it involves some form of anger. Close beside anger you will find its twin brother, contempt. Jesus’ understanding of them and their role in life becomes the basis of his strategy for establishing kingdom goodness. It is the elimination of anger and contempt that he presents as the first and fundamental step toward the rightness of the kingdom heart."
(Dallas Willard in Divine Conspiracy, p. 147)
"In its simplest form, anger is a spontaneous response that has a vital function in life. As such, it is not wrong. It is a feeling that seizes us in our body and immediately impels us toward interfering with, and possibly even harming, those who have thwarted our will and interfered with our life."
(Willard, p. 147)
"We can and usually do choose or will to be angry. Anger first arises spontaneously. But we can actively receive it and decide to indulge it, and we usually do. We may even become an angry person, and any incident can evoke from us a torrent of rage that is kept in constant readiness."
(Willard, p. 148)
"The answer to this question of why people embrace anger and cultivate t is one we must not miss if we are to understand the ways of the human heart. Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you find a person with a wounded ego.
The importance of self and the real or imaginary wound done to it is blown out of all proportion by those who indulge anger. Then anger can become anything from a low-burning resentment to a holy crusade to inflict harm on the one who has thwarted me or my wishes or bruised by sense of propriety. It may explode on anything and anyone within reach. I may become addicted to the adrenaline rush and never feel really alive except when my anger is pumping."
(Willard, p. 149)
"Anger embraced is, accordingly, inherently disintegrative of human personality and life. It does not have to be specifically “acted out” to poison the world. Because of what it is, and the way it seizes upon the body and its environment just by being there, it cannot be hidden. All our mental and emotional resources are marshaled to nurture and tend the anger, and our body throbs with it. Energy is dedicated to keeping the anger alive: we constantly remind ourselves of how wrongly we have been treated. And when it is allowed to govern our actions, of course, its evil is quickly multiplied in heart-rending consequences and in the replication of anger and rage in the hearts and bodies of everyone it touches."
(Willard, p. 149-150)
"But there is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it. . . To retain anger and to cultivate it is . . . “to give the devil a chance” (Ephesians 4:26-27). He will take the chance, and there will be hell to pay. The delicious morsel of self-righteousness that anger cultivated always contains comes at a high price in the self-righteous reaction of those we cherish anger toward. And the cycle is endless as long as anger has sway."
(Willard, p. 151)
What stands out to me is the fact that anger does not have to be acted upon to poison the world. I’ve learned that anger acted out almost NEVER is helpful or productive. It is almost NEVER done in love. It almost ALWAYS has to do with my own “wounded ego.” I’m learning how to step back for a moment when the feeling of anger begins to come – to try and check myself before speaking or acting – to try and see where this anger is coming from – and to try and recognize how any action done in anger will not be helpful to whomever I’m with. Instead of reacting, I try and reflect on what is going on inside of me, seek to calm down, and determine a course of action after reflection instead of just reacting.
But I’m also very much challenged by the idea that keeping anger inside is just as poisonous as letting it out. I can see the truth of this through past experiences. I hold a grudge. I act differently around a certain person. My tension rises. I see then how I carry with me this unhealth and it then affects my attitude, my relationships, and tends to fuel my self-righteousness. If I’m angry inside, I do what I can to justify my anger, to feed on it, and that always leads to look at myself through rose-colored glasses and becoming more prone to judgmentalness when looking at others.
I lose sleep. My mind is easily consumed with thoughts about the situation or person I’m angry at. It is amazing how we can ‘feast’ upon this anger and how it doesn’t quickly dissipate if we keep our will focused upon it.
“Be angry but do not sin.” I don’t know about you, but that is a very difficult road for me. I need God’s help in being angry about those things I should be angry about but then acting in love and compassion. I need God’s help in not being angry about things I should not be angry about. And when the anger does come in handling it after reflection and not simply reacting.
God is more powerful than my anger, and yours, too. And so often God has a lot to say and do in me, when I run into this battle with anger. I need to learn to listen and allow Him to grow me in the midst of these difficult emotions.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
March weather - Charlevoix
I thought you'd enjoy the last few days in Charlevoix.
Sunday night: Winter storm warning: 4-6 inches of snow possible
Monday morning: 14+ inches of snow on my driveway. (This snow fell from 9pm – 2am. That means it was snowing at over 2 inches per hour during these five hours.)
Two + hours of snowblowing tunnels. Try to go to work after lunch. Church and sidestreets yet to be plowed. Unable to get to work. Go to library.
Tuesday: Sunny, balmy conditions. High of 45 degrees. Lots of melting and puddles and dirty water. Need a carwash again. Spring is coming, I hope.
Wednesday: Winter weather advisory. High wind advisory. Lake Michigan Shoreline Advisory. (Now you may wonder what a Lake MI shoreline advisory is. I did, too. It means to be advised of the possibility of large chunks of ice being pushed onto the shore and damaging homes, playground equipment, docks, or anything else which may be near the shoreline.) Oh yeah, the high wind advisory warned us of 40 -60 mph winds. Temperature of 24 degrees but it feels like 6.
This very moment (8:41am on Wednesday). I can hardly see the parking lot out my window. The snow is blowing from right to left and is completely perpendicular to the ground.
It's supposed to be 50 by Sunday.
You may wonder why I share this with you. Am I looking for sympathy? No. Do I want you to see me as some rugged man who can handle these difficult conditions? No. I find it comical. It is amazing how quickly the weather can change. And as tempting as it is to complain about these conditions, it is pretty exciting. I do want winter to end and spring to come; don’t get me wrong. But God is in control; I’m not. Complaining about the weather does nothing to change it and for the most part has no positive effect.
Sunday night: Winter storm warning: 4-6 inches of snow possible
Monday morning: 14+ inches of snow on my driveway. (This snow fell from 9pm – 2am. That means it was snowing at over 2 inches per hour during these five hours.)
Two + hours of snowblowing tunnels. Try to go to work after lunch. Church and sidestreets yet to be plowed. Unable to get to work. Go to library.
Tuesday: Sunny, balmy conditions. High of 45 degrees. Lots of melting and puddles and dirty water. Need a carwash again. Spring is coming, I hope.
Wednesday: Winter weather advisory. High wind advisory. Lake Michigan Shoreline Advisory. (Now you may wonder what a Lake MI shoreline advisory is. I did, too. It means to be advised of the possibility of large chunks of ice being pushed onto the shore and damaging homes, playground equipment, docks, or anything else which may be near the shoreline.) Oh yeah, the high wind advisory warned us of 40 -60 mph winds. Temperature of 24 degrees but it feels like 6.
This very moment (8:41am on Wednesday). I can hardly see the parking lot out my window. The snow is blowing from right to left and is completely perpendicular to the ground.
It's supposed to be 50 by Sunday.
You may wonder why I share this with you. Am I looking for sympathy? No. Do I want you to see me as some rugged man who can handle these difficult conditions? No. I find it comical. It is amazing how quickly the weather can change. And as tempting as it is to complain about these conditions, it is pretty exciting. I do want winter to end and spring to come; don’t get me wrong. But God is in control; I’m not. Complaining about the weather does nothing to change it and for the most part has no positive effect.
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