Love One Another - Sittser

Here are a few excerpts from Gerald Sittser’s book, Love One Another: Becoming the Church Jesus Longs For:

. . . the church’s success in this endeavor (to be the incarnation of Christ to the world) depends on only one thing: not great wealth, political power, sophisticated technology, superior organization, great preaching, public rallies, big buildings or creative programs, but the mutual love shared within the community of faith. The quality of relationships among Christians makes the church an effective witness for the gospel, for it creates the kind of community into which others are naturally drawn. “I give you a new commandment,” Jesus told his disciples, “that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35). (17)

We wield the power to enhance or destroy people’s reputation simply by how we talk about them. The Bible is brutally direct in its warnings regarding the tongue (Luke 12:1-3; Matthew 12:36; James 3:2-12; Ephesians 4:29). Too often we make up our mind about people before meeting them because we listen to – and sometimes seek out – the “informed” opinion of others. We don’t give people a chance to show us who they really are, especially if that impression differs from their previous reputation. (31)

Forgiveness

I chose to write about forgiveness before confession because we are called to forgive even when no confession has been made. Forgiveness is a manifestation of mercy, given when it’s undeserved. Ideally it’s offered to people who are truly sorry for their sin so the broken relationship can be mended. But sometimes we must forgive when there is no sign of repentance. As Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.”

True forgiveness comes hard, especially for the church. I think that’s true for two reasons. First, we expect more from Christians. . .

Second, Christians often find it more difficult to admit they are wrong. . . Christians can be stubbornly self-righteous when they believe they possess God’s truth. Their religious self-assurance makes them unreachable, no matter how convincing the evidence against them. (65-66)

Unforgiveness condemns us to live forever in the dungeon of the past. The memory serves only to remind us of what went wrong, of the hurt we received. We caress that painful memory. We find a strange happiness in thinking about it. It finally poisons us.

Unforgiveness leads to wrath, which makes us quick to accuse and ready to explode the moment we’re crossed; wrath makes us quick to punish; wrangling engenders quarrelsomeness; slander is the crude attempt to turn other people against the offender; malice makes us wish evil on another person. Unforgiveness may get its way. It may cause hurt, inflict punishment, heap blame. Yet its greatest victim is the unforgiving self. (72)

These are the ways you also once followed, when you were living that life. But now you must get rid of all such things – anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourself with the new self . . . Colossians 3:7-10a

Forgiveness does not absolve offenders from guilt. Only God has the power to absolve; only he can decide that fate of every person’s soul. Human forgiveness does not bestow divine forgiveness. . .

We forgive in a relative sense; we have the power to restore the broken relationship between ourselves and the offender. God forgives in an ultimate sense; he has the power to restore the broken relationship with himself. The Pharisees were furious with Jesus because he assumed a prerogative that belongs only to God. He forgave people for sins they had committed against other people (Mark 2:1-12). That’s something only God can do, which of course is why Jesus could – and did – forgive. (73)

Forgiveness means releasing offenders from the consequences of their behavior as it affects us. It cancels the debt they owe us and saves them from having to pay us back. It absorbs the wrongdoing. Forgiveness reestablishes the relationship, at least from our end. It restores communication and under the right circumstances, can restore friendship. It uses the past as a means of strengthening the relationship, not destroying it. Forgiveness is like the growth of a tree that envelops a wound in the trunk, so that what once threatened the tree’s life becomes its place of greatest strength. (74)

Confession

Confession levels the playing field of the church. It mitigates conflicts that threaten to destroy us and disarms our opponents by demonstrating the way of humility to them. It reduces us to the needy people we are, regardless of where we come down on the issues. It reminds us – everyone, really – that weakness in the presence of God has dignity and integrity that human strength cannot comprehend. (78)

. . . confession and prayer pose the greatest risk to ourselves and perhaps the greatest hope for the church to become a loving community. Controversy and conflict engender a defensive and accusatory spirit in the church. We criticize our opponents’ weaknesses and applaud our own strengths; they do likewise. We forget what sinners we are, however right our particular perspective might be. We forget that being right is not the only goal of Christians – especially not at the expense of Christian virtue.

Confession forces us to own up to our sin and not to use others’ wrongdoing to excuse our own. Confession reminds us that we desperately need the grace of God. It makes us weak and vulnerable, exposing our underbellies to the church and revealing that we are not so high and mighty after all. (80-81)

Confession exposes; prayer heals. Confession takes responsibility for wrongdoing; prayer asks God to help us do what is right. Confession acknowledges the human condition; prayer draws on the transcendent power of God. Confession admits to sin; prayer leads us to salvation. (89)