Expectations

One of my pet peeves is people who have unrealistic expectations, especially in the fields of customer service. Often I experience this internal struggle at restaurants when either I eat with someone who is demanding or sit by someone who is demanding. Recently I had this experience during our anniversary dinner at the Perry Inn. (We had a gift card.) A few tables away, the couple was clearly and consistently unhappy with the service, food, and overall experience. They were critical, demanding, and rude in their interactions with the waiter who tried but was unable to meet their needs. This couple had a level of expectation which was inappropriate and unrealistic.

We have expectations for John. We have expectations for his behavior – how he acts, how he talks. And we make sure he understands when he is not meeting our expectations. When he says, “Whatever” in THAT tone, it is unacceptable. And we have realized that we, too, are held accountable by him when we happen to use that same term. (What goes around comes around, I guess.) When our expectations are not met, we hold him accountable through words and actions. There are consequences to not meeting our expectations (loss of privileges, time-outs, etc.)

I also bet you have expectations for Community Reformed Church. You expect the church to do certain things and not do certain things. You have expectations for the staff, for your experience on Sunday mornings, and probably for many other aspects of your “church” experience. Many of these are appropriate and important to have. Notice I didn’t say all of them are appropriate and important. Some are unrealistic. Some may even be selfish and self-centered. Some may run contrary to the purpose of the church. But most probably are appropriate and important.

What about you? What expectations should the church have of you? (And when I say the church, I don’t simply mean the staff or leadership – I’m talking about all of us.) And also, what expectations DOES the church have of you today?

As I see it, our expectations of each other are minimal at best. Here are what I perceive them to be:
1. We expect you to come to church at least 4x a year or so. (If not, an elder may call.)
2. We expect you to keep the commitments you’ve made (usher, greeter, coffee host, etc.).
3. We expect you to avoid blatant sin. (If not, an elder may call.)

Now it’s important to note that what we expect from each other is different than what we may ask of each other. We ask you to do a lot more. We ask John to do a lot more, but some of which we don’t expect. We just ask. We ask you to follow Jesus Christ in all of life, hopefully strongly encourage you to do so, but we don’t expect it. There are no “consequences” if you don’t pray, love your neighbor, give time or money, study God’s Word, etc. We ask and encourage, but don’t expect.

What should we expect from you?

The easy and comfortable answer is to just continue what we’re doing. You can ask but don’t expect. Let’s leave the expectations where they are. If I’m not in church or involved in blatant sin, then I should get a call. But other than that, keep asking, but don’t expect.

I just wonder if that’s really a good plan. I wonder if that is really effective in encouraging each other to grow. I wonder if that really is an expression of the love we are called to have for each other. It is often shown in children, that if we expect little of them, they meet these expectations and it limits their potential. I’m not at all inferring we are like children, but instead wonder if this really does hold true for adults as well.

If we expect little from each other, then we’ll meet it – it’s not hard. But is that right? And does that help us to become the people God is calling us to become? Are we being His Church?

Here is what I hope you expect of me (not as the pastor) but as a fellow follower of Jesus Christ:
1. I actively pursue my relationship with Jesus (prayer, Bible study, service, evangelism)
2. I encourage my family, friends to follow Jesus, too. (Ex. Pray with wife/family, make Sabbath priority, teach/model Biblical values)
3. I confess sin and avoid it. (greed, lust, materialism, judgmentalness, pride, etc.)
4. I’m consistently meeting with others to encourage and challenge one another to live out everything expressed in this list, because I know I can’t/won’t do it alone.
5. I “do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (how I treat waiters, how I run my business, how I make decisions financially, how I drive, how I speak, etc.)
6. I am loving and serving those outside the church, being held accountable in my walk, meeting the needs of the least of these, being a house of prayer, and serving the Church here and throughout the world.

These are items you ought to expect of me. You shouldn’t just ask these of me; you ought to expect them from me. You may not be a part of #3, knowing all the joys and challenges of my pursuit of Christ, but you ought to expect that I have a group(s) of people who really do know that I am living this out or not.

Please really prayerfully consider this question: What should the Church expect from you?