A letter to my friends on Facebook

Hi.  Thank you for reading this.  Some of you I know (or knew) because we went to high school (Fergus Falls) or college (St. Olaf) together.  Some of you are Young Lifer’s.  Some of you I know through coaching or my time in Grandville at First Reformed Church.  Some of you are close friends and family.  Some of you are connections through Charlevoix or Community Reformed Church or other encounters that have allowed our paths to cross.  I’m thankful for what you’ve added to my life and thankful for the opportunity to stay connected in this unique way through Facebook.

I’ve always wrestled with how to be on Facebook.  Should I share more?  What should I share?  Do people really care about what I’m thinking, where I went for vacation or what my growing family looks like?  Not sure, but today I’m feeling the need to share. 

I’m a dad of a 9 year old (John) and 2 year old (Anna), so the recent events in Connecticut have affected me in ways that I am still trying to understand.  Understanding feelings is no easy task, is it?  I had a conversation with John yesterday trying to help him know what to think (and feel) about what has taken place.  He said he’s a little scared.  Me, too.  But fear is not the driving emotion for me.  It’s there.  What’s driving me more than anything else, and really what has led me to go public with my thoughts, is faith.

In these last few days, our faith was tested.  I don’t know what you put your faith in, but whatever you put your faith in, I bet it was tested.  Can we trust our school systems to protect our children?  Can we trust our government to defend us?  Can we trust each other?  Can we trust God?  This final one was John’s question.  “Daddy, I don’t understand how God can let this thing happen to these kids.”  Why does God allow something so horrible like this to happen?  How can he love us and let children be brutally killed? 

I feel the tension of these questions in the context of this time of the year.  It’s Christmas.  The song says, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”  I don’t feel like this today.  For the folks in Newtown, it’s hard to imagine how different this Christmas will be for them compared to what they were expecting a week ago.  My Christmas is already different this year because of what happened in Newtown last Friday. 

My faith has been tested.  Faith is putting our trust in someone or something.  My faith in the school system has been impacted.  My faith in humankind has been altered.  I feel less trust.  I feel more concern.  I took socks to John at school today and I looked at the school differently as I drove in.  I felt different.  I’m hopeful that good conversations can result that help us consider how best we can care for and protect the children of our communities.  But that isn’t the ultimate answer.  We should do this work, but there are no guarantees.  There is definitely a conversation raging in the public square today about guns and gun control.  I hope this conversation will lead to a deeper understanding of the place of guns in our society today.  But that isn’t the answer.  I know there is a growing conversation unfolding about the challenge and reality of mental illness.   There is some important work to do here, to come alongside families who are wrestling with this challenge, but this isn’t the answer either.  Please don’t get me wrong, there is important work to be done in all of these areas and I’m sure many others, but if that is where you ultimately put your faith, I think you are going to be let down if you are not already.  No matter what we do about schools, guns, and mental illness, evil will still exist in our world and that will impact children, your family and mine, hopefully never like we see in Connecticut, but again, there are no guarantees.

It’s been a good year and a hard year for me.  I’m growing.  Yes, for those of you who check out our pictures on Facebook, I am growing in some ways I wish I wasn’t, but that is not the growth I’m talking about.   I am growing inside not just in girth.  I’m growing in my ability to see myself more clearly.  I don’t love everything I’m seeing, but as I recognize more clearly who I am, I see the opportunities for me to change in the places I need to change.  I’m a better Dad today than I was a year ago.  My relationship with Alisa is growing.  Our friendship and intimacy are deepening.  I have a clearer picture of why I am here in this world.  I am more authentic.  I love more freely and less selfishly.  My priorities are moving in the right direction.  I’m valuing the things that matter more than the things that don’t.  I’m learning to ask for help.  I’m learning to stop pretending and trying to be someone who I think others want me to be, and instead am getting more and more at peace in my own skin, in who I am and know I can become.  I’m caring more deeply about people, and even though that gets messy, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I’m less easily angered.  I don’t judge as quickly or as fiercely as I used to.  I am learning to see the good in others and encourage more.  I’m learning to live a life that is less and less about me.  Still a long ways to go in all of these areas, but I am growing, and I’ve come to embrace that I’m a work in progress and extend myself more grace. 

I’ve put my faith in Jesus Christ.  Many of you know that.  You expect pastors to say stuff like this.  Please give me a chance.  I’m not writing to preach or to try and make you feel guilty.  I’m not here to get you to church.  I just want to share what Jesus is doing in my life (emphasis on what JESUS is doing), and as I’ve wrestled, cried, and tried to understand the events in the last few days, my faith has come to the surface, and though I don’t understand and can’t make sense of the senselessness of last Friday, I continue to put my faith in the One who does understand, who was as present last Friday as he is today.  I don’t know what God is doing or will do or why he didn’t stop what happened, but I do know that regardless of my ability to understand, of all the choices of who or what to ultimately put our faith in, I choose him.  I hope John and Anna will too, and I feel a deepening responsibility to encourage them in this direction not simply by my words but by my life.  I hope they see my faith in Jesus as much as they hear about it.

Some of you I know really well.  Some of you I haven’t seen or talked to since high school.  (Go Otters!)  I would just ask that as you ponder, feel, and respond to what has happened and as you consider what Christmas means to you, would you wonder with me about your faith?  I’ve spent a lot of my life putting my faith in myself – my smarts, athletics, abilities, charisma, etc.  I see the short-term gains these have led to but also the long-term costs.  I’ve used people, been puffed up in pride, been selfish, and have experienced separation in relationships as a result.  The more I learn to trust Jesus, the more I see my life becoming what I’d hoped for – the more I see my life really serving and loving the people around me and offering to Alisa, John, and Anna what they really deserve.  It is what Jesus promised when he was asked why he came.  He said he’s come to give life – abundant (a growing marriage, connected with kids, loving neighbors, serving those in need, joyful, peaceful, though not at all easy, purposeful) life.

I really do love my life, and I’m convinced that this abundant life I’m learning to live into is only found in Jesus Christ.  He is the only one who can empower me to live this life.

There.  I went public on Facebook with something other than pictures of my kids or funny videos or articles worth reading. I hope I’m not being weird or crossing some Facebook etiquette line.

I hope you’ve felt no judgment.  I feel none toward you.  I write this because of all the things I could share on Facebook, this is what I want to share.

Thank you for the investments that you have made in my life.  I’ve experienced a little more of this life I’m talking about because of the connections I’ve had with many of you.

I hope you experience the joy of Christmas, and I hope that will include being open to the gift of Jesus Christ.  I’m putting my faith in him.

Wisdom of God - Scripture Verses

Click HERE to see a list of 200 Bibles verses that address wisdom.

RCA Our Call Video - Community Reformed Church is HIGHLIGHTED

Check out the new video the RCA has put together to celebrate God's work through Our Call.  Community Reformed Church is one of the churches highlighted.  You can see some of our church family. Click below.

Our Call

Why Slaves to Mammon Cannot Find Peace - Phil Johnson

Here's an excellent article about the nature of mammon and its impact on our lives.

Click HERE.

Who Is This Man? John Ortberg

Please read this book and be reminded of the profound impact that Jesus Christ has had on the world today.  See once again how this one man (more than a man, I know) with little worldly power changed everything.

Click HERE to purchase this book at Amazon.

In God We Trust

Here are a few resources I came across in my sermon preparation.  The national motto is "In God We Trust."  Interesting. What does that mean?  What should it mean?

Here's a little history on the origin of the motto.

Here's an article on Congress's responses over the years to the national motto.

Here's a proclamation by Abraham Lincoln appointing a national fast day.  Please read this.  What a proclamation from our government!  Could this happen today?  Should it?

Here's a response to a movement (Pulpit Freedom Sunday) in the church for pastors to start endorsing candidates and parties from the pulpit.  It's interesting that this movement is choosing October 7th which is Worldwide Communion Sunday as the day to endorse a person/party.

Enjoy.

A Counterintuitive Response to Chick-Fil-A

There is an interesting debate in the public arena regarding Chick-Fil-A, and their president's stance on marriage being between one man and one woman.  This is leading to all sorts of conversations and responses.  Some are boycotting Chick-Fil-A and some are trying to make a statement by eating there.  My good friend, Nate Pyle, pastor in Indianapolis, has written about this in his blog and I found it very helpful.  It is titled, A Counterintuitive Response to Chick-Fil-A.  Click on the title to read.

A Prayer

I came across this from a friend but am unclear of its source.  It is a prayer I'm trying to embrace but a little afraid to pray.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Source Unknown

Partially loved

Something incredibly significant happened in Genesis 3. We can’t overstate the consequences of our fall. Each of us is now tainted because of our disobedience and the reality that we are ‘born sinful.’

Most of us would say that God loves us. Would you say God fully loves you? Are we fully lovable? Most of us would say, NO, BECAUSE our fall brought shame. We are ashamed of ourselves. We are not fully lovable. We can no longer be fully loved. We are so sure of this truth that we hide. We have become experts at hiding the truth inside for fear that if the truth is revealed, we will be loved even less than we are now. So we hide. We pretend. We cover up. We work incredibly hard to create an (false) image of ourselves that we believe is lovable.

And we settle for a love that really isn’t love. We settle for fleeting happiness, pleasure, and embrace even more fully a commitment to self-centeredness (which led to the fall in the first place). We center our lives on ourselves. We become the idol we worship, the image that matters, the primary focus of our attention.

Why? Because deep down inside, we no longer believe we can be loved. So we try and get what we can. When I look good, I get attention and affirmation, I’ll take that. When I strive to get what I want, I get what I want; I’ll take that. When I portray myself as a victim, I get attention and don’t have to take responsibility for myself; I’ll take that.

We get what we can because we no longer believe we can find what we need.

What does this stir up in you? Where do you go from here? How would you finish this post?

Power source

I have a new daily workout.  It's sole intent is to help me abide in Christ.  I've been 'at it' for couple of weeks.  I'm so thankful for this help.

I am spending time alone without an agenda.  I'm back in Scripture without the need to 'use' it with others.  I'm journaling.  I'm listening.  I'm back into space with silence.  I've chosen some practices of abstinence.  I've also embraced a relationship with a coach.

All of this has come out of the invitation to be a part of the Faithwalking experience, which was started in Houston and now is making its way north.

As I began this opportunity, I kept reading in the materials how the daily workout, which is homework to be completed every week, is crucial, and the materials described it as "your power source."  I'm finding that to be true.  At first, I read this like I normally do - passive agreement, 'I get it', with little thought.  I'm really starting to finally get it, but not in some intellectual understanding, but through the experience of these past few weeks.

I really need this.  I need power outside of myself.  Let me say that again for MY OWN SAKE.  I need power outside of myself.  I need eyes beyond my own, helping to see myself clearly.  I need to be reminded of who God is and I need to hear what He is saying to me.  I need to let my mind have space to be still, to listen, and to let God get a word in.  I need solitude where I'm away from the distractions that ALWAYS come.  I need accountability in love which consistently asks, "Did I do the homework?"  "What am I hearing/seeing in the homework?"  "If I didn't do the homework, what has me stopped?"

I've always wrestled with a devotional time, both because I'm driven my performance - I want to look good, so I work on things that I think make me look good and because I don't want to 'limit' my time with God to an alloted time.  But what I'm coming to realize is that this scheduled, alloted time is critical to living the rest of my life with Him.  It is my power source.

What's your power source?  Are you plugged in?  (Sorry, just seemed like a fun and important way to end.  We can have power all around - even within - us and still live an disconnected life.)

Charles Spurgeon Quote - Hell

I received a lot of response to the following quote and thought it would be good to share.  What does it stir up in you?

Charles Haddon Spurgeon - 

“If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies.  And if they perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay.  If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one person go there unwarned and unprayed for.”

                (Spurgeon, Spurgeon at His Best, p. 68-78)

Hell

I'm doing a few messages this summer on hell. Our sermon series is titled, "Love Does Win" and is a response to the questions raised by Rob Bell in his book, Love Wins. In no way are we seeking to bash Rob Bell, but he has raised important questions about foundational aspects of the Christian faith, so we are talking about them. Hell is one of the areas he addresses. I'm sure just reading the title of this post caused you to pause and wonder if you want to even think about this possibility. There are probably a lot of other blog posts to read, sports scores to check or maybe even some time to spend on Facebook. Anything would be more uplifting than this.

Yet, we have to talk about hell. Our view of hell impacts our Christian faith and practice. "It is difficult to reject the reality of hell and hold a high view of Scripture," says Dr. Michael Wittmer in his book Christ Alone: An Evangelical Response to Rob Bell's Love Wins.

I also listened to a very challenging message by Tim Keller. You can find it HERE. It's titled, "Hell: Isn't the God of Christianity an angry judge?" A couple of the quotes from the message that stood out, "What does it cost your God to love you?" and "If God is not angry at injustice, that God wouldn't be worthy of worship." 

And finally this quote from Charles Haddon Spurgeon, "If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one person go there unwarned and unprayed for.” (Spurgeon, Spurgeon at His Best, p. 68-78)

Don't you think that one of the main reasons that countless men and women over the course of history have given their lives for the cause of Christ is that not only did they believe in who He is and what He offers, but it is because they also believed in the reality of hell. Why the urgency if there is no hell? Why sacrifice all if we're all saved in the end? We can't make decisions about hell and God is if we are the final authority. We cannot create God in our image and determine who he is because of who we want him to be. We can't say there is no hell because we want a loving god. We must allow God to be the final authority and source of His own revelation. He has to show us who He is and we have to listen to what He says. He has revealed the reality of hell. We cannot deny and we cannot minimize it. We cannot long for anyone to end up in this place. We must embrace our call to share the truth of Jesus Christ and the consequences for those who reject Him.

Beginning Again I've been on a break from blogging because my operational leadership has been running my life. The tyranny of the urgent has been an idol and the space for reflection, prayer, and doing those things that increase my capacity have been lacking. I confess this before you and want to recommit to this endeavor - not for your sake but for mine. It is part of my learning. It is part of adaptive leadership. It is a means to process, listen, and grow. I am thankful for your patience, but I hope you will not give up on this site. You can get a sense of what's been unfolding by reading past posts, but I hope you'll see in the future, how God has been significantly helping me grow - in both understanding but also through action - through living out the practice of following Jesus. I invite you on that journey, and if this space is helpful, all the better. I commit to a weekly offering so if you check back each week, you will find new content, thoughts, and maybe even confession. I hope you are reminded in a multitude of ways today how deeply you are loved and how important it is that we open ourselves up to God and each other to be deeply known.

Expect More

“Expect more – pay less.” I believe that is Target’s motto. I think it means that we should expect quality and service, but that it shouldn’t cost us a lot. In many ways, it is a motto that reflects the expectation of most of us as consumers. We want good quality, but we don’t think we should have to pay a lot for it – at least that’s what we want. The other side of the coin when it comes to motto’s is “You get what you pay for.” My Dad worked to ingrain that in me. He always encouraged me to pay a little more, especially for things like shoes, tools, and appliances, because they would last longer and would be less likely to have problems.

It’s an interesting contrast when you bring these into the conversation about faith, following Jesus, and church. When we view church as a consumer, we can easily embrace Target’s motto. I expect a lot from my church (attention, programs, quality, etc.), but I don’t expect to have to give much to get it. My role is to come on Sunday. The church’s role is to meet my expectations. I’m the consumer/customer and the church is the purveyor of religious goods and services.

But most of understand that this doesn’t really work when it comes to relationships. If I don’t “invest/give” in my relationships, I know they won’t be what they could. If I just make demands on my wife and/or son/daughter but don’t invest in them, care for them, listen to them, and serve them, then I end up with broken, strained relationships with those closest to me. It may be a little crass to describe this as “getting what we pay for,” but the principle is true.

Target doesn’t have many expectations on its customers. It is doing everything it can to get you in the door and get you to buy its products. But it’s a business that wants your business and so keeping the customer happy is a primary goal. As consumers, it seems to be true that when we get a lot and don’t have to spend a lot, that we are most happy, so companies like Target live by keeping the customer happy.

But faith, following Jesus and church are not Target. The goal is definitely not to keep the customer happy.

I do think an appropriate motto might be “Expect More.” I believe that part of the reason the church is struggling and becoming less influential in our lives and culture is because our expectations have all but disappeared. I’m not talking about the unhealthy expectations we can bring into the church and even in relationship with God where we really believe the purpose of the church and God is to make us happy and keep us free from trouble. I’m talking about the expectations we place on ourselves in following God, the expectations we place on our friends/family to encourage us to follow God, and the expectations we have of God to actually act like God today. I think we expect so little of ourselves, each other, and in turn, God. We need to expect more!

We need to expect that we’d sin less and serve more. We need to expect that we’d listen to God’s direction and do what He says. We need to expect that we’d sacrifice for Him as he’s sacrificed for us. We need to expect that we’d really love our wife/husband like Christ loves the church. We need to expect that we’d raise our children in such a way that Jesus is priority, the Bible is true and incredibly helpful, and that God really does do supernatural works today.

What really do you expect of yourself in your relationship with Jesus? What do you expect of yourself as you consider your part in Christ’s body, the Church?

The only one who is really –at the end of the day- hindering your growth and keeping you from experiencing His life is YOU. We expect so little of ourselves. It’s OK not to pray, not to read the Bible, not to love people that are hard to love. It’s OK to gossip some, covet some, keep the stuff God gave us for ourselves. It’s OK to get intoxicated, lie a little, not make disciples, and definitely not share my faith with someone else. It’s OK to leave the faith development of my children up to the church.

It’s not OK! Expect more. Expect more of yourself. The “fair weather” Christian who is more driven by worldly values and avoiding discomfort actually HINDERS the gift of Jesus being experienced by others. I think it is important that we see this truth personally. If you choose to expect very little of yourself in terms of following Jesus, then you become a barrier to the people in your life seeing and receiving the gift of Jesus.

Our lukewarm approach to faith makes God sick to his stomach. He wants to spit us out.

We should expect more of each other. We’ve allowed accountability to be defined as judgment and defined judgment as bad. We’ve embraced the relativistic view of personal faith. If it works for you, then who am I to judge? We may clamor that we don’t do that with other religions, but we definitely do it within Christianity. We look away from the trees that claim to be rooted in the good soil of Jesus but yet bear no fruit. Not following Jesus has become OK in the church, as long as I keep coming to church. Church attendance has taken the place of discipleship. We should expect more of each other. I believe that is what love does and what Jesus expects of us.

How can we really call each other friends and family when we don’t talk about or share our faith? How can we define love if Jesus isn’t a part of the conversation? How can I say I love you and not encourage you to grow and be willing to rebuke complacency and sin? We like reading Paul and celebrating Jesus’ life, but we definitely might think a little differently if they wanted to be our accountability partner.

Expect more of your brothers and sisters in Christ AS you are expecting more of yourself. Nobody can follow Jesus for you, but as you expect more of yourself, it is imperative that we ask for help and expect help from fellow followers of Jesus.

Expect more from God. In no way does God need to give more. He is perfect and there is nothing He needs to do differently. But we ought to expect more of God to be seen in our lives. When we start expecting more of ourselves, we start to live by faith. When we live by faith, we open the door for God to act, and we see that God is faithful and that God can do abundantly more than we can ask for or imagine. God can heal any broken relationship. God can heal any disease. God can change any heart. God can help us walk through any tragedy. There is nothing that God can’t do. We should expect Him to act like and look like God in our lives. He may not do what we want, but it doesn’t change the fact that He could do anything.

When we live by our strength and ability, not much is possible. Hence, we don’t often risk or step out of what is comfortable. But in His strength and ability, all things are possible, so there is always HOPE.

Expect more. Give yourself away. Watch what God will do. You have nothing to lose (that's worth keeping) and everything to gain.

The Power of US

I remember the instructions clearly, “You have to get over the 12 foot wall.” I looked at the wall. It was smooth. There was no way I was going to jump high enough to reach the top. “It’s impossible,” I thought to myself. I wondered if the folks I was with felt the same way.

Then it occurred to me that I wasn’t supposed to get over the wall on my own. I wasn’t asked to do something that was impossible. It was only impossible if I didn’t take advantage of the people I was with.

So we began. A couple of the more athletic guys stepped forward. They bent down and began to push another up the wall. They were both about six feet tall, and the person they pushed up was six feet tall, so with their arms extended, they reached at least fourteen feet high. The person on top grabbed the top of the wall, and with some pushing from below, pulled himself over the wall. He did it. One of our team members was over the wall. Instead of taking off and leaving us behind, he turned around, leaned over the wall, and began to help the next person who was being lifted up by the two athletic guys. In a matter of a few minutes, almost all of our team was over the wall. But now what? We had two on the ground left. One of them put the other one on his shoulders and slowly but surely the one on the shoulders began to reach up the wall. He was being slowly pushed up by the one who was carrying him, while at the same time two of the people on top of the wall reached down and grabbed him and began to pull. Just like that he was up and over the wall. Only one left.

How was this last one going to get over the wall?

One of the people on top of the wall leaned over really far, so far that others on the wall had to grab his legs. They slowly lowered him back down the wall so that he reached about 1/2 of the way down the wall. The person on the ground reached up and jumped. Miss. Miss. Miss. Almost . . . miss.

But then about the fifth try, after the person was lowered as far as possible, they linked hands. The folks on the wall began to pull the person up who was grasping the person on the ground. Slowly but surely the team lifted both people up over the wall. The entire group had accomplished what was impossible for one person to accomplish. I was amazed. I was one of the people who went over the wall even though at first I thought it was impossible.

“Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.” John 14:12-14

What a promise that Jesus makes to us! We will do “greater works than these,” the works that Jesus himself did? That is what the text says.

From the very beginning, we see our tendency to approach life with a “Let ME do it” attitude. It is not at all unhealthy when it comes to a lot of life, but when it comes to the “faith based” approach to life, it fails. It is impossible for us to follow Jesus and keep His commandments and reach the world IF we try to do it on our own. Jesus didn’t ask us to do anything on our own. His approach is “Let US do it.” It is community based. It is relational. It reflects dependence upon others and Him to be able to climb the walls He asks us to climb.

Your marriage isn’t what is ought to be. Hear Jesus says, “Let US do it.”
You’re not making disciples. “Let US do it.”
You’re stuck in sin. “Let US do it.”
You’re overwhelmed with guilt and shame. “Let US do it.”
And on and on it goes. Whatever wall you face, Jesus is saying, “Let US get over it together.”

So often we spend time focused on the wall. I could have jumped and jumped to try and get over the 12 foot wall on my own. I could have sat in despair because of the hopelessness I felt looking at the wall. But the change came in me when I stopped looking at the wall and started to focus on US. I saw the US and began to realize it wasn’t up to ME to get over it. I felt so much more hopeful when I began to see the power and strength in US.

As Jesus asks you to follow Him, maybe it is a better plan to focus more attention on the US. We tend to live in the ME, but as we focus on the US, I think, we began to realize that no wall is too high, no relationship is too broken, no task is too great for US to overcome.

US = you and me and our brothers and sisters in Christ and the Trinitarian God (Father, Son & Holy Spirit).

There is nothing that US can’t do.

Keeping Your Word

Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37

The context for this verse is where Jesus tells us not to swear by anything. He is not talking about cursing. He is talking about the promises/commitments we make to each other. Jesus is saying there is no need to back up your promise by swearing by something – by God, by heaven, by earth, etc. In essence He is saying that we need to let our word stand on its own. When we say yes, we need to mean yes. When we say, ‘No’, we need to mean no. We act in honesty and integrity when we do what we said we’d do.

Integrity is not a word we often hear in relationship to the Christian faith. Most often this term describes a character trait. A person with integrity is a person who tells the truth and acts in appropriate, moral ways. We don’t lie or steal or cheat.

All of us would like to be described as a person of integrity, and if we don’t lie, steal, cheat, then we might define ourselves as a person of integrity. But I think there is so much more to this concept then what we often consider. To be a follower of Jesus is to be a person of integrity. You are not following Jesus if you are not acting with integrity. But it means so much more than not lying, cheating or stealing. It means in every aspect of our lives we act in integrity. One helpful definition is, “Doing what we said we’d do when we said we’d do it.”

I say to John, “I’ll play with you in a couple of minutes.” After twenty minutes go by and I am still not playing with John, I have an integrity gap. I’ve said one thing and not done it.

When I say to Alisa, “I’ll be home at 5:00pm” and then show up at 5:27, I have an integrity gap.

When I say to Alisa, I am committed to honoring you and being faithful to you, but then let my eyes wander on other women or think unclean thoughts, I have an integrity gap.

When I promise to do something for someone, but don’t follow through, I have an integrity gap.

When I say to a friend in need, “I’ll pray for you” and don’t, I have an integrity gap.

Sadly, today, we often accept these small integrity gaps as normative. We’ve learned to really not count on each other’s word. We’ve just accepted the reality that keeping your word means less than keeping your word. If you do it most of the time, well, that’s great – better than most.

But here’s where it get interesting. When I lack integrity in my life – even though it’s in the “small” things, more than likely I lack integrity in the things that matter most – specifically my relationship with Jesus Christ.

To claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ implicitly means a commitment to full obedience to His Word. God has shown Himself to be completely trustworthy in keeping His Word and He asks us to do the same. When I say I am a follower, I have committed to loving my enemies, making disciples, proclaiming Christ crucified, denying myself, meeting the needs of the least of these, etc. These are not optional requests; they are mandates. When I choose not to do them, I lack integrity in my relationship with God. All of us have integrity gaps, but that is not an excuse to continue to live with gaps in our integrity.

There is hope and growth offered to us in the midst of these gaps. It doesn’t change the expectation that God has that we live in integrity in relationship to Him, but it gives us an opportunity to grow into integrity and not let guilt and shame keep us from His Way of life.

Another helpful definition of integrity involves 4 important steps: 1) I keep my Word. 2) When I fail to keep my Word, I honor my Word by seeking to clean up any messes I’ve made – apologize, ask for forgiveness, etc. 3) I become present to the consequences on myself and others when I fail to keep my Word. 4) I re-promise to keep my Word.

So often our integrity gaps are ignored. We fail to follow through and keep our promise and we do nothing about it. We begin to see that we can get away with this and it becomes a normative way of being. We think being a person of integrity really only matters in the big things. But if we look at integrity through the expectations of Jesus, everything we do matters. Every gap in our integrity has negative consequences on us and the people around us.

One of the most powerful ways we truly live into the integrity God desires is when we are willing to do the hard work of honoring our Word. We promised something and we didn’t follow-through. If we are willing to admit this gap to ourselves, to God, and to the people affected, we have an opportunity to grow and to encourage the importance of integrity.

For example, John is not fully aware of my integrity gap when I say I’ll play with him in a few minutes and either it’s 20+ minutes or I don’t play with him at all. But he is learning something about me that I don’t want him to learn. “Dad says some things that can’t be trusted.” I’m aware of this gap, and I need to do the hard work of honoring my Word. When I say to John, I’ll play in a couple of minutes I need to follow through on my word. I ask him to follow through on his word and I ought to expect this of myself. So here is how the conversation needs to go for me to honor my Word.

“John, I need to apologize. There have been numerous times I’ve told you I’ll play with you in a few minutes. More than a few minutes go by. I’m sorry I didn’t do what I said I’d do. I want you to know that when I say I’ll play in a few minutes that you can believe that. I need to work on that and I am asking for your help. I’m making a promise to you again that when I say a few minutes, I mean it. Can you tell me how you feel when I say I’ll play with you and don’t do what I say?”

That took all of a minute to say this to my son, but it is some of the most important work I do in his life.

You’ve said some things to significant people in your life and are not following through. You’ve made promises, commitments, vows, and more than likely there are some gaps in your integrity. Are you willing to do the hard work of cleaning up the mess you’ve made?

Remember the church in Philadelphia in Revelation 3:7-13. One of the significant ways that this church was affirmed was because they kept God’s Word. They did what they promised to God. They lived in obedience. They trusted God’s Word to them, and in return they sought to keep their word to Him.

I can’t emphasize enough the significant work that God desires to do in each one of us – not only through our obedience – but also through our willingness to do the hard work when we are disobedient.

Where are you failing to keep your Word? Will you honor it? Will you do the hard work that honoring your word entails? Growth, healing, the abundant life that God promises is greatly hindered without a willingness to do this work. It is the work of grace and forgiveness and love.

The Bible & Orphans

A father to the fatherless . . . is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.
Psalm 68:5-6

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those who are perishing. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9 (NLT)

The helpless put their trust in you. You are the defender of orphans. . . Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.
Psalm 10:14, 17-18 (NLT)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27 (NIV)

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17 (NLT)

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.
Deuteronomy 10:18 (NIV)

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.
Matthew 25:35-36 (NLT)

Do not deprive . . . the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this.
Deuteronomy 24:17-18 (NIV)

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praises of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Ephesians 1:4-6 (NIV)

Once our eyes are opened we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know and holds us responsible to act.
Proverbs 24:12

The Global Orphan Crisis

This information comes from Dan Cruver’s sermon titled, “The Cosmic Significance of Adoption: What It Means for Us and for Orphans." For this sermon and many other helping resources on caring for orphans, go HERE (www.orphansunday.org).

The Global Orphan Crisis
There are 143 million orphaned and vulnerable children in our world. If all of these children were moved to the country of Mexico, Mexico’s population would more than double,growing from 108,700,000 to 251,700,000.

There are approximately 47.5 million orphaned and vulnerable children in Sub-Saharan
Africa.

There are approximately 5.9 million orphaned and vulnerable children in Middle East and North Africa.

There are approximately 37.4 million orphaned and vulnerable children in South Asia.
30.1 million orphaned and vulnerable children live in East Asia and Pacific.

9.4 million orphaned and vulnerable children live in Latin America and the Caribbean.

There are as many orphaned and vulnerable children living in Ethiopia as there are people in greater NYC.

Almost 1.5 million children live in public care in Central and Eastern Europe.

That’s our world.

What about the United States?
More than 800,000 children pass through our country’s foster care system each year. There are over 500,000 children in our foster care system right now. 129,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted right now. That’s how many people live in the capitol of South Carolina.

Approximately, 25,000 children age out of the foster care system each year, many with no support system and little to no life skills. There are currently over 5,400 children in South Carolina!s foster care system. Over 1,500 of them are waiting to be adopted. So far this year only a couple hundred of them have been permanently placed in homes.

This brings us to this question: How many total children are adopted each year? Between 118,000 and 127,000 children have been adopted every year since 1987. More than 50 percent of all adoptions are handled by public agencies or come from countries outside the United States. More than one-third of Americans have seriously considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent have actually adopted. Only 4 percent of families with children (1.7 million households) contain adopted children.

With this many orphans in the United States and in the world, the church has a monumental task before it if it is to practice true religion. "James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction." "The church has its work cut out for it.

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So here’s the big question: how is the hope of our glorious future as God’s sons through adoption even possible? How is it possible that God can take “children of wrath” and give them an unbelievable future on a renewed earth? What has God done to give us this hope that is laid out in Romans 8:23?

We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

. . . Paul says, “God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, (so that the eternal Son become the incarnate Son) born under the law.” The law under which the Son became incarnate meant condemnation for us. As Paul says earlier, this law ‘held us in bondage.’ It could not give us life. It could not quicken us. Rather, it puts us to death because of our sin.

But God sent His Son, His eternal Son, who became incarnate Son without ceasing to be the eternal Son, and he lived his life under the law in order to fulfill it. To paraphrase what Paul says in Galatians 3, “The curse of the law was placed upon his shoulders.”

At the cross the One who in the garden of Gethsemane cried out, “Abba, Father, remove this cup from me,” willingly submitted to the will of the Father on our behalf and went to the cross. At the cross this Son cried out, not ‘Abba, Father,’ but “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” He experienced at the cross what we sons of disobedience, children of wrath deserve.

Why did Jesus do that? Why did God send forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem us? Why did he do this? Paul tells us in verse 5: “that we might receive adoption as sons.” Jesus bore the curse of the law that we might be brought into the household of God to share in the love that has existed between the Father and the Son for all eternity. We who by nature are sons of disobedience, we who by nature are objects of wrath, are brought in to share in this amazing love which will one day fill the earth as the waters cover the sea.

. . . He accomplished redemption! He took the curse of the law upon his shoulders and was forsaken by the Father so that we might receive adoption as sons! And on the day of resurrection Jesus says to Mary, “Go to my brothers and tell them I’m ascending to my Father and YOUR Father.” YOUR FATHER! Mission accomplished! (my emphasis)

What's in it for me?

Sometimes being a Christian (and pastor especially) feels like being a salesperson. I often feel like I have this great product with great benefits and my whole existence is focused on getting you to ‘buy’ this product. What does a salesperson do? He or she tells you everything that is good about their product. And nowadays, the focus is on telling you how the product is going to make your life better. The overriding question that the salesperson is seeking to answer – even though you may not ask it out loud – is “What’s in it for me?”

The army’s motto during the time of the World Wars was “I need you.” That was enough to encourage people to sign up. The country needed them and so, for the greater good of the country, people said yes. Today the motto has changed. It addresses the question above. Today it’s “Be All That You Can Be.” It is not country centric but individual centric. The army will help you be all that you can be.

Sunday after Sunday, the pastor can feel called to lay out all the benefits of signing on to Jesus and following Him. You get this and that. You’re promised and guaranteed this and that. You get to go to heaven. You get to experience peace and joy and love. You won’t have to worry anymore. You get guidance and strength and comfort. You get to make a difference in the lives of others. You get blessed. It’s similar to the “Be All That You Can Be” promise of the army.

How would you answer this question: “Why are you a Christian?”

Is it primarily because of what’s in it for you?

Consider asking someone about to be married: “Why are you getting married?” If they responded with, “Well that’s easy. I’m getting married because of what’s in it for me. I get this person who loves me, serves me, says encouraging things about me. I’m not alone. I have someone to eat with, sleep with, talk with. I have someone who’ll do at least some of the housework, maybe bring in some income, and really make me feel ways that I want to feel.” What do you think about this response?

Or what if the question was: “Why are you having kids?” “Well, that’s easy. I’m having kids because of what’s in it for me. It will be fun. They’ll help me look good. I’ll have a chance to mold and shape them into who I think they should be. They’ll love me and take care of me when I get old. They’ll help with the household chores. I’m sure they’ll be entertaining at times. I want to be a Mom/Dad and I can’t be one unless I have a child.” What do you think about this response?

I hope the following responses make you uncomfortable. They are just not right because they are coming from a selfish perspective. They reflect the consumer driven and transaction nature of relationships that permeate our culture. “What’s in it for me” has become one of driving forces of our lives. We make decisions based on this. We base relationships on this. And in doing so, we show very clearly that what is most important is me - my happiness, how I feel, what’s best for me.

How does that perspective fit into the life that Jesus is calling you to live. Does he want people who are in it for the benefits? Do you want a husband or wife who is only in it for what you do for them? Do you want a mom or dad who is looking for you to build up their identity, to make them feel good?

The best example of the opposite of this perspective that I see on a daily basis is my wife, Alisa. I watch her day after day SHOW LOVE for John. Her love for John is what motivates and drives her to set aside her own wants/needs to serve him. There is no transactional nature involved. She is not doing it so he will do something for her. She serves, sacrifices, and gives because she loves him. There are definitely benefits to being in John’s life and being his mom, but she is not at all driven by what’s in it for her.

What’s in it for you with Jesus? Everything. Is that what ought to drive us to follow him – so we can get what he offers? No. What drives us in following Him is the love we found in Him which enables us to love Him (albeit imperfectly) but it is love that is the foundation of our commitment to Him.

By the way, the full story of what’s in it for you with Jesus is found throughout Scripture. It isn’t just heaven and joy. It is also suffering and sacrifice. It is courage and risk-taking. It is humility and dependence. It is ultimately dying to self. It is seeing the hard truth about who you really are and receiving the gift of Jesus and His grace in spite of yourself.

What's in it for me being a Dad? John & Anna
What's in it for me being married? Alisa

Sure there are incredible benefits to being a Dad and being married. But they pale in comparison to the gift of the relationship I have with these incredible people in my life.

Maybe it is not completely inappropriate to ask what's in it for me with Jesus. Because maybe there is a good answer to that question. It is not the benefits; it's Him. What's in it for you and me when we surrender ourselves to Jesus ultimately is the gift of Him - a relationship with our Lord, Redeemer, Savior, and King.

Teammate vs. Referee

A friend of mine is helping coaching middle school football. It has given me a chance to live vicariously through him as we’ve talked about coaching and team and football. It’s been fun for me, and I think he is really enjoying not only the experience but the relationships (with students, coaches, parents, etc.).

Sports like football have rules. Without the rules, it would be like Calvinball. (You’ll know what I’m talking about if you are a fan of Calvin & Hobbes. If not, ignore my reference and read on.) Calvinball had no rules. You made them up as you went. It was chaos.

Football has rules. There are boundaries. There are sidelines and end zones which mark the field of play. You don’t play outside of these boundaries. There are specific ways you score points. There are limits to the number of players on the field. There is a limited amount of time the game is played. You have equipment you must wear and rules you must follow. Otherwise, you are penalized for not following the rules. SO, there are referees that exist to enforce the rules during a game. We might not always agree with their decisions, but they have final authority when it comes to enforcing the rules.

Often, we love the referees when they call something in our favor or when they penalize the other team. We don’t love the referees when they call something NOT in our favor or they penalize our team. They get yelled at a lot. It is not an easy job, but it is an important job to make sure the game is played by the rules.

There are also players – teammates. These are the people who are actually on the field of play who have to abide by the rules of the game. They get to hit, tackle, run, block, pass, etc. They get to enjoy the exhilaration of the game as well as deal with the emotions of winning and losing. The referees don’t do any of this. They don’t get to play. They watch and manage the game and make sure the rules are followed.

Following Jesus is like playing football. (That’s probably not a sentence you’ve heard before, but stick with me.) Yes, I know, you don’t really get to hit and tackle, but in many ways, following Jesus is similar to playing the game of football. There are rules to follow. There are boundaries to keep. There are certain things we do that are penalized because they are breaking the rules. We are on a team. It is not an individual sport. We experience ups and downs throughout the experience. Unlike a football game, which lasts for 60 minutes, following Jesus is a game that lasts a lifetime. There is a start, but not really a finish. It may not be about winning and losing in the way a football game is, but it is about living and dying. When we play we find what it is to live, and amazingly so, we also have the opportunity to invite others out of the stands and into the game. We have the chance to encourage others to move away from dying and into living.

There is a referee, too. However, unlike the football refs, this referee is perfect. He never makes a bad call. He is always working toward helping and encouraging the team to succeed. We may not always enjoy his input in our lives when we are breaking the rules, but we can know he is always making the right call and always seeking to help us grow and enjoy the game even more.

Part of the challenge we face in playing this game of life is the temptation to take over for the referee. We are all tempted to be referees. We like wearing the striped shirts, blowing our whistles, and pointing out the infractions in others. Our sinful nature has a propensity toward judgmentalness, so we are very prone to taking on the role of referee in the lives of others.

It is not our job. We are teammates not referees. Teammates are in the game. Referees are not. God has given us the rules and boundaries so that we experience His life - that’s when the game is most exciting, meaningful, and joyful. He did not give us rules so we could all become referees – pointing out each other’s faults and shortcomings.

I’m not denying the important role that accountability and tough love play. Any good team recognizes how important it is to hold each other accountable to playing the game to the best of our ability AND playing the game as a TEAM.

It is one thing for a fellow teammate, who you know loves you and is committed to your success, to challenge and encourage you in a different direction or point out a place where you are falling short. It is quite another story when someone wearing a striped shirt and blowing a loud whistle – not on your team and not in the game – begins pointing out all of your shortcomings and faults.

If you are not following Jesus, but believe it’s your job to tell others how they need to change, then you are a referee. You need to get in the game and on the team.

If you are following Jesus, play as a team. Be teammates.